~One Year~

One year ago on August 17th 2005 ~Ashleigh~ was killed in a drinking and driving accident in Campbell River, BC. The man who hit her carelessly drove well over the speed limit with no attempt to stop, running the red light through the intersection that ~Ashleigh~ was driving through. This man is still at home, working a normal job, living a normal life.

We got what seemed to be a normal phone call, as ~Ashleigh~ would phone Matt every night after work. It was just after 11pm, or maybe just before, but it wasn’t ~Ashleigh~

I have driven to Campbell River a million times over the 24 years I have lived on Vancouver Island this drive was the longest, quietest drive in my entire life. With the odd outburst of “maybe I misunderstood” “I couldn’t have heard him right”. We reached ~Ashleigh’s~ house at 3am, only to hear what our hearts didn’t want to believe.

The next morning was even worse, because when you do finely close your eyes to sleep for just 30 minutes, you wake and know you are not dreaming. That what happens to others, but not to you, is true.

We wanted so desperately to go see our ~Dad~ in the Hospital that morning. We wanted to tell him what happened, we wanted him to know, so he could find ~Ashleigh~ when it was time for him to go. We never got that chance. ~Dad~ died the morning of August 18th 2005.

I remember the look on mom’s face as she walked up the driveway just before 9am. I guess I remember because of what news followed. We had been through most of ~Dad’s~ cancer with him, but no matter how prepared you try to make yourself, there is no possible way to take what my mom said to us on the step of ~Ashleigh’s~ house that morning.

One year later there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about that night, and the morning that followed. I’m not sure how I am supposed to feel after a year. Most people can’t believe it’s been a year, I guess because they haven’t thought about it everyday. Losing my ~Dad~ and ~Ashleigh~ made me less afraid of life, but more afraid of dying.