Bloggin' Block

I have no excuses not to blog. I have been around everyday, besides the weekends. I have no motivation anymore. I changed my blog address so nobody could read it, because I thought that I was having trouble speaking my mind to people I dont't know, but I still haven't been posting as much as I was before. My mind has been wondering alot since I desided not to go to Manitoba for My Dads service. I guess my guilt is getting the best of me. Guilt is a funny thing, because as I shouldn't feel guilty for reasons that I know are true. I should be happy that I am not going and not putting myself in a situation I know I may regret later. I do want to see all the family, and remember Dad, but I am trying so desperatly to be happy now as I know he would want me to be. If I went to Manitoba it would only force me to start all over again, which I don't think I could do, its too hard right now. Harder than it was when he was sick and when he died. I still can't believe its been 10 months. I miss him so much, and I miss Ashleigh so much. I'm so glad they met, it makes my heart warm knowing that Ashleigh was there when Dad left, and knowing that they weren't alone.
Okay That was deep. I am moving on to happy thoughts right now. Clint is on his way now, and Matt is not far behind him. YAY. Clint and I are going down town to get some Xavier Rudd tickets for Saturday. My Bday present to Gwen and Matt. I'm stoked, if you haven't heard of him, google him, and download his music its unbelievable. Tonight we're just sitting back and playing a game of Cranium a fantastic game that I can't wait to start. I will let you know how my weekend went with pictures on Sunday.